Look at me!
by coffeestainedwriter
Summary: AU. It's Quinns junior year at her new school McKinley, everything's going great! problem is everyone, including her parents, think she's her dead twin brother Lucas. Eventual Faberry.
1. Prologue

_Look at me!_

You know how, in those cliché, lifetime movie type deals when something bad happens, like at a funeral it's always raining? Or how when something dramatic happens there is lightening adding to the effect. Especially in the olden day ones her Mum watches almost as much as she makes them pray. Which is a lot!

This is nothing like that.

No, instead it's a wear your birthday suit and lay in a puddle of your own sweat, not a single cloud in the sky to offer any reprieve from the oppressive sun type of day.

But it's fitting.

Luc always loved a bright blue sky; he always said that a warm day was like a whole body hug, safe and comforting.

He would have loved today, Luc would have dragged her outside to run around and climb trees, roll around in long grass, play in the sprinklers and steal ice cream when the nanny wasn't paying attention.

But that wasn't going to happen.

It was never going to happen again, because luc was dead.

Simple as that.

Quinn ran her fingers over the top of Luc's tombstone, tracing patterns over the rough, bumpy crest.

" Lu- I mean, QUINN, time to leave sweetie" Her Mother called out from behind her, probably already near the car, everyone else having left or in the process of leaving.

"You would have hated this" Quinn whispered, ignoring her.

_Her Mothers frantic screams as her Father lost control of the wheel._

"A whole bunch of people I don't even know gathering around to lower you into the ground"

_Luc grabbing her hand as they started to spin out of control into the next lane_

"I can't even remember what the priest said, is that a bad sign Luc? That I can't even remember your funeral even though it happened a few minutes ago?"

_The blood curling sound of metal crashing and twisting together as they slammed into an unknown number of cars_

"I can't remember a lot of things, my memory's like that blanket we cut up, the one with the butterflies. We stuck them to our wall . . . No; we stuck them onto mum's roses. . . I think."

_The pain that flared through her head as it cracked against her car door_

"The doctor said I have . . . I think it's called amnesia? But he said it's affecting my memory, and if I'm patient it'll come back eventually"

_The blood that ran down into her eye as her brother sat there, body twisted into an awkward angle, their hands still clasped_

A rough hand wrapped around the back of her scalp and tugged roughly on her, now short, hair. She winced as the hand holding her forced her to turn around and face the giant, looming figure that towered above her. Her hand still clinging onto her Brothers tombstone.

"When your Mother calls you, I don't care if she calls you by your name or your twins, you bloody well answer, you hear me girl! That little head wound affecting your hearing as well?" He spat at her

"No Daddy" She whimpered in a small voice

He shoved her forward, her fingers scrapping against the rough top of her Brothers grave, breaking the skin and leaving a few drops of blood behind, marking the pristine white stone.

A lone drop ran down the side of the tombstone, coming to an end just above the engraving

_Lucas Fabray_

_1995 – 2001_

_Beloved son._

**Ten years later **

Quinn is in a rush, she knew she should have set an additional alarm. But her bed had been so comfy, her arm muscles aching too much from moving so many boxes into her new room to reach the short distance to grab her phone.

Well, she was paying for it now!

Running her fingers through her short hair with a bit of moose to give it some volume she rushed through her morning ritual.

Eat Breakfast.

Brush teeth.

Check bag for everything necessary to survive the day.

Secure chest bindings.

And dress for her first official day at her new school McKinley high, as junior Lucas Fabray.

* * *

><p><strong>So… worth continuing?<strong>


	2. First impressions

_Look at me!_

_Chapter 1: First impressions_

_I'm going to be late! I'm going to be late Oh my god I'm going to be LATE!_

**RING**

_Fuck_

"FUCK!" Quinn hissed under her breathe as she threw the heavy front doors of McKinley open with a loud bang, she dashed through hall way, weaving in and out of the mass of students making their way to class.

It was like a game. People seemed to jump into her way so she had to make a sharp turn or sudden halt to avoid them. Was this on purpose? . . . Nah, people weren't THAT cruel.

After almost crushing her nose with an open locker door, Quinn slowed down trying to take in her surroundings. She glanced around the throng of student, standing on her tippy toes so she could see. Not paying attention to where she was walking. That was a mistake, she collided with someone, a small slip of a girl, grabbing onto the girls upper arm to steady her before she fell, Quinn gave her an apologetic smile before quickly walking away, determined to find that weird guidance counsellors office.

Twisting and turning down a few more long corridors, where only a few students were still hanging around, Quinn finally reached the clear door of Emma Pillsbury's office.

Knocking before she entered Quinn took a quick look around the office, the lemony fresh scent invading her nose.

"Good morning Lucas!" Ms Pillsbury exclaimed, clapping her hands in front of her. "You're a little late, but that's okay I'll make this quick."

"Please, call me Luc." Quinn smiled, forcing her voice slightly lower, her councillors' perkiness tangible in the lemony fresh scented air.

"Luc it is, so first period you have history," she explained pulling out, what she assumed, was her school timetable from one of the folders on her desk and handing it to Quinn.

"Have you been to your locker yet?" Quinn shook her head. "Ok, you should stop by your locker first to drop of your books, no sense carrying around more weight then you have to, or you can go after, your choice."

As she was speaking, Emma started to straighten the pens on her desk. _Odd habit. Did she have some form of OCD? That would explain why it feels like it's never seen a spec of dirt, and the almost nauseating lemon smell._

Quinn pulled her phone out of her pocket to glance at her phone; she was already over ten minutes late for her first class, _oh god, dad's going to be mad!_

"While this is all . . . very interesting, I would really appreciate if we could continue this some other time?" _polite Quinn, be polite!_

"Oh, alright then, um, here's a late note, I'll um, come see me when you have spare time please . . . good luck" She called as Quinn grabbed the note and quickly left the room. Emma frowned to herself, before shaking her head; Lucas was probably just antsy since he was transferring late in the term.

_I'm late! I'm so late! _

She rushed down the hallways, skidding around all the unnecessary amount of twists and turns, her sneakers making unholy squeaking noises that seemed to echo until, finally, her classroom was in sight, at the other end of the hallway.

_Okay, relax deep breaths._

She chanted to herself, slowing down to a walk as she neared the classroom. Taking a deep breath she stepped into the classroom, her arm lifting up to hand the teacher her note, her mouth opened to apologize for being late.

In the blink of an eye the classroom tilted up, the floor reaching forward to hit her in the face. She closed her eyes and lifted her arms to cover herself as it crashed into her body, knocking the breath out of her.

The world seemed to stop for a few seconds; she opened her eyes slowly and glanced around the classroom.

Every single person was looking at her, their laughter only just registering in her mind.

_Great first impression Fabray._

She wrenched herself from the floor and stuck her hand out for the teacher to take her note. He gave her a sympathetic look, maybe this class wouldn't be that terrible – he seemed nice enough. She took it back when he asked her to introduce herself to the class.

She turned to face her classmates, some of them still snickering.

"Hey, um, I'm Lucas," she started lamely, being careful to make sure her voice doesn't move up to its natural octave. "That fall . . . um that was planned. I lost a bet with my cousin."

_Liar!_

She lifted her hand, running it through the back of her hair, moving to take the only available seat near the front of the classroom.

She pulled the seat out and moved to sit down, happy to put the embarrassing accident behind her.

Before she could fully sit down, the chair was pulled out from under her; she crashed down, her tailbone taking a beating.

_Oh god, why me!_

"Puckerman!" A voice hissed to her left, she glanced up to see a girl, the one she ran into earlier! Glaring at the boy with a Mohawk, she turned to Quinn and gave a small smile; maybe this class wouldn't be so bad after all . . .

Walking through the door Quinn's only thought was to get to her room, her only refuge in the house. Treading quietly as she didn't want to alert her mum to her presence, and deal with any more drama today, she rounded the corner and felt her heart clench in her chest.

Her mum was standing in her path. She just stared at her. Searching for something, Quinn wasn't sure what.

"Mum?" she asked hesitantly

"Quinn why are you wearing Lucs clothes?" She took a few steps forward, placing her hands on either side of Quinn's face. Her usually glazed over eyes were unusually sharp. Piercing right to her soul. She was having one of her lucid moments, unfortunately, Quinn knew it wouldn't last long.

"Oh, um, my dress was damaged, Luc let me borrow some of his spare clothes," she stumbled out, weary of what she said, she didn't want to trigger her mum, she didn't want to suffer the consequences of her mum having a mini meltdown.

She didn't say anything, she just stared at Quinn. Her eyes combing over her daughters face.

"Mum?" as much as Quinn was enjoying her mums' moment of lucidity, she couldn't risk saying or doing the wrong thing.

"Luc, you should go do your homework." Within seconds the mother Quinn knew when she was a little girl disappeared and the clusterfuck that was now her life made its presence painfully obvious. Her once sharp blue eyes clouded over removing her mother again. Her frail frame slumped over, her clothes seemingly to drag her downwards weighing her down. Her hands, still attached to Quinn's face, slowly slipped down and Quinn recognized her defeated mother once again.

Without another word her mum brushed passed her, squeezing her shoulder before making her way back to her wine bottle. Without pausing to look back, she forced her legs to move towards the stairs, her whole body shaking from the encounter.

Taking the stairs one at a time, grabbing on to the guard rail so she didn't fall, she could hear her mum toddling around in the living room, turning on her radio and swaying as the elegant sound of violins filled the house.

Throwing the door to her room open, Quinn chucked her bag on the nearby desk chair and catapulted herself onto her bed, twisting and burrowing until the blankets wrapped around her like a cocoon. Her own little barricade against the world.

_Just a few minutes, then I'll get up and start on my work._

A few minutes turned into half an hour, which continued to an hour, which eventually passed every time she blinked. She was planning on moving soon, starting on her homework; she had missed the first few weeks of the school year thanks to the whole moving towns fiasco so she had quite a bit to catch up on. But her body just felt drained, she couldn't get up even if she wanted.

Shimmying around a bit until she faced the open window, outside the sky was a beautiful dusty orange, Dusk. It had been longer than she thought. The sound of a car pulling into the drive way flooded through the window, causing her to flinch.

A minute or so later the front door slammed shut, signally the return of her dad from work; right now he'd be taking off his suit jacket and shoes by the front door before continuing to the kitchen to give Judy, her mum, a kiss on the cheek while she continues to prepare dinner. He'd loosen his tie while mum prepared his drink of scotch before sitting down in front of the T.V and watching whatever the news showed him.

He'd expect her to come down from her room and play 'happy family' to keep her mum happy, and she would do it.

Reluctantly, Quinn wrenched herself out of the cocoon of blankets and made her way downstairs.

She was right. Her mum was in the kitchen, she had learned long ago not to approach her mum and offer her help. Her mum didn't want her boys messing about in her kitchen. Instead, she made her way into the living room where her dad sat, engrossed in some telemarketing scam being shown on the evening news.

"How was school?" he asked, not taking his eyes of the screen as Quinn sat down on the other side of the three seater.

"Fine." she replied, being careful to keep her tone of voice neutral, not betraying anything.

"Were you late to any of your classes?" he questioned her. Taking a deep breath Quinn shoved her hands into her hoodie pocket.

"I missed a little bit of first period history, guidance councillor wanted to have a heart-to-heart."

Her dad glanced over at her, for the first time that night.

"Just don't let it happen again."

His words reverberated through her, her legs trembling slightly from the coldness of his voice.

"It won't."

He turned back to the TV then, sipping more from his crystal glass full of scotch. The silence between then was awkward, strained, Uncomfortable. Quinn almost audibly sighed in relief when her mum called them to the dinner table.

After dinner her mum retired to her room, claiming she was tired. Before Quinn could do the same her dad placed his hand on her shoulder, stopping Quinn dead in her tracks. Her body instantly straining as she tried to keep completely still, her muscles locking. What did he want? Was she in trouble? Did she somehow stress her mum out?

"Tomorrow after school you will report to coach Beiste, I've had a good talk with her, all you need to do is impress her with your football skills and you're on the team"

He spoke with authority, leaving no room for argument, Quinn realised this but, Football!

There's no way Quinn, a girl, could keep her secret around a bunch of jocks, what happens when their big, meaty bodies tackled her? Or what about the whole shower situation!

"Dad I-" She started, struggling to find the right words, to change her dads mind.

"Don't argue with me, you love playing football," The temperature of the room seemed to drop a few degrees as he spoke; Quinn started to tremble as his grip on her shoulder tightened.

"Look at me."

She turned around slowly, struggling to keep her head up to look him in the eye, afraid of what she would find.

"You will show that coach how amazing you are at football, you will impress the team, when you win the championship and the recruiter for the university football teams shows," gripping both of her shoulders, he spoke each word slowly, making sure they got through his daughter's thick skull, "you'll get a scholarship to Ohio University and make me, and your mother, proud."

She never disobeyed her dad, she couldn't, even though her treated her like she was nothing and reminded her often that no matter what she did she will never be Lucas, she loved her dad.

But she couldn't do this. Gathering all her courage, not letting herself look away from her dads icy gaze, she was going to stand up to him, put her foot down, decline his gesture with grace!

"Please don't make me," she squeaked, running her fingers through her shoulder length, shaggy hair. Tugging on the ends.

_Damn._

A heavy silence settled in the room, her father slowly turned red, then purple, then blue. Quinn started freaking out, oh god was her dad having a heart attack!

One of her dads' hands left her shoulder, and _slapped _her hard across her face.

Her dads other hand was the only thing still keeping her upright.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK BACK TO ME LUCAS!"

His hand flew off her shoulder, like he had been burned. She slumped against the wall, her hand coming up to lightly touch her cheek, it _stung_ but it was far from the hardest her dad had slapped her.

It was almost a gentle tap if you compared . . .

She looked back at her dad, he looked almost . . . guilty? No, she must have been seeing things.

"Go to your room, if I hear that you didn't show up for try outs-" he left the threat hanging.

Yup, definitely imagined it!

Without a second thought, she turned around a scrambled up the stairs; slamming the door to her room shut before ripping open her closet door.

She grabbed the first things her hands could reach and started to pile them on in layers, T-shirts, button ups, hats, hoodies, even a few extra pairs of pants.

By the time she finished, the majority of the 'Lucas style' clothes she owned were on her, covering her as effectively as the blanket cocoon from earlier.

She leaned against the closed closet doors, sinking down and wrapping her arms around her knees, burrowing her head in the fabric and just . . . breathed, she knew that she couldn't smell Lucas, heck these clothes never came anywhere near him, but it was just the thought that her brother was here, with her, that gave Quinn comfort. As long as she had her brother, it was okay. Everything would work out.

"_Higher Luc!" A young girl of eleven exclaimed as her brother pushed her with all his might._

_She sored through the air, reaching up to grasp the cloud with one hand while the other clung to the rope._

_Their laughter echoed through the empty meadow, the only other sound the rubbing of the tire swing rope against the tree branch. _

_The clouds above them darkened, Quinn looked up to see them swirling, like her bath when her mum turns the tap to let the water in._

"_Luc why's the sky mad?" she asked her brother as she started to fall backwards, her back collided with something hard, causing the tire swing to spin madly as it went back up._

"_Luc!" she called out, clinging as she continued to spin around, any second now her brother was going to grab her, he was going to stop this stupid swing and they were going to go home and build a fort._

_Eventually it stopped spinning but the swing continued to move up and down as if it hadn't being interrupted, like he was still pushing it._

_But she couldn't feel the familiar press of her brother's hands against her back, she couldn't hear him either._

_She looked down, expecting . . . hoping that her brother was leaning against the tree, smiling at her, probably eating her half of the sandwich Nanny made them._

_He wasn't._

_Laying on the grass, body twisted at an awkward angle was her brother, his lifeless eyes staring up at her as blood seeped out of him at an alarming rate._

_She screamed as gravity pulled the swing back towards earth, pulling her right over her brother and turning up. _

"_Quinn" A voice hissed in her ear as she felt arm curl around her._

"_Let's play Quinn!" the voiced hissed as a hand moved up to her face, the fingers curling and pressing against her eye, pushing slowly._

"_Close your eyes and I'll hide!" she called out to her brother as he rolled his eyes, turning to face the tree._

"_ONE!" he called out, giggling she ran down the hill, away from the tire swing and into the trees that surrounded her home. _

"_FOUR!" She needed a good hiding spot. But where? Rubbing at her itchy eye she looked around the nearly identical looking trees._

"_SIX!" She crawled into the small hollow under a tree, a spot that she and Lucas often made little homes in for their toys, she's sure Billy bearington wouldn't mind her hiding in his living room_

"_TEN, READY OR NOT HEAR I COME!" He called out, Quinn was sure he skipped a few numbers._

_She tried not to laugh as her brothers foot step became louder, covering her mouth with her hand to muffle them._

_She tried to shuffle further down, pulling the obnoxiously puffy dress her mum made her wear closer so her brother wouldn't see it, wincing slightly at the thought of what her dad would say when he found out about her most likely dirt stained dress._

_There was a loud thump the same time Quinn felt something crawl on her arm, looking down she quickly hit away the beetle that was harassing her._

_Nothing could of prepared her for what she saw when she looked up_

_The hand she placed on her mouth early stifled her screams as her brothers pale, rotting body lay inches from her, the skin around his teeth already missing along with one of his eyes and patches of his hair, his hand reaching out to her._

Her scream echoed around the house as Quinn woke up with a start, the leg that was bent awkwardly under her twinged as she bolted upright. She gulped down air, struggling to get enough in.

After a few minutes she managed to regain control and silence once again fell around her, no one had responded to the sounds of her screaming.

Wiping at the torrent of sweat that was cascading down her face, Quinn realized that she had fallen asleep on the floor, covered in an unknown number of sweat soaked layers of clothes.

Standing up on shaky legs she made her way slowly to her adjoining bathroom.

Wincing as the bright lights flickered on she glanced at the pale, sweaty figure she could she wrapped in way to may clothes in the mirror, the bags under her eyes standing out like flashing neon signs.

Looking away in disgust she turned the shower on, peeling away every individual layer as the water heated up. Placing the cloth strip she uses to bind her chest in the sink she stepped into the scorching hot water, she forgot to turn the cold water on.

_Oh well_

Her skin quickly turned pink but she couldn't bring herself to care. Grabbing her shampoo bottle she scrubbed at her hair, pulling and tugging in an effort . . . hell she wasn't even sure what she was trying to do. The nightmare and the day's events just wouldn't stop churning around in her mind.

Lucas would have been celebrating and thanking their dad profusely.

Lucas wouldn't have tried to turned down that wonderful opportunity

Lucas wouldn't be as ungrateful or self-centred as Quinn was.

Growling in frustration, she hit her fist against the shower wall, regretting it as soon as the shock ran up her arm. She leaned back against the gold glass wall of the shower, a shocking difference from the heat of the water.

Luc, her brother, was dead. She knew this yet, even thinking about it hurts.

She knew it wasn't healthy, acting like her brother, but it was just so . . . comforting.

Being Quinn wasn't appealing. Quinn was a failure in dad's eyes. Even mum preferred Lucas.

It would have been better if Quinn had died in the crash.

She flinched, nearly falling over. Unable to comprehend what was just going through her mind.

…

But it was true

Luc was better

He should be here.

Not Quinn!

After nearly falling in her attempt to get out of the shower, Quinn started rummaging through her bathroom cabinets. Pulling out the special pair of hairdressing scissors, she reached up and grabbed a fist full of her shaggy blonde hair, and cut it.

Well more like hacked it.

Letting the remains fall out of her hands, not watching as it hit the ground, no, she was too busy looking at her reflecting.

Reaching back up, she cut it again, and again, and again.

Loving how short it was getting.

Dropping the scissors carelessly in the sink, Quinn ran her fingers through her hair, watching as a few more strands fell away onto the hair covered floor.

She'd never had her hair this short before. It was still rather shaggy and longer than a lot of boys wore it, but it was undeniably society's idea of masculine. Well, it will be once she fixes it up a bit.

Looking down at her body, Quinn didn't really feel anything.

She didn't hate what she saw.

But she didn't like it either.

It was just . . . organs, muscle and bones wound together and wrapped in skin.

It wasn't anything special, her hips were a bit big considering, and her breasts were, thankfully, rather tiny compared to other girls.

She didn't WANT to be a boy, she didn't MIND being a girl . . . she just wanted to be like Luc.

Tiredness crashed over her, crumpling her resolve to clean up the mess of hair. Instead, she went back into her room, putting on the nighty her mum brought her years ago in one of her more lucid moments and collapsed on her bed.

Only to have her alarm clock buzz at her.


	3. Why me?

_**AN: Hey guys, I won't do many of these but I feel the need to mention that this story is set during season two never been kissed and will follow along with the very basic plot of what happened throughout that season. OK I'll leave you alone to read now. enjoy!**_

_**Look at me**_

_**Chapter 2: Why me?**_

"Alright!" Coach bellowed at the throng of hopefully high school boys, "there are a lot of you, and I need to cut it right down! We'll start with some basic drills."

She paced back and forth, her eyes lingering on Luc Fabray, the last minute addition to her try out list.

Quinn ran her hands over the soft Mohawk she had styled her hair into, determined to show everyone that she could do this, even if she got hurt trying.

"On my whistle!" She yelled.

* * *

><p>A few days had passed by, no hints of what Coach Beiste had decided for the final team. She walked quickly into her English class, being careful to maneuver around the mass of students already sitting and combining their desks, their teacher was a complete push over so Quinn figured she could probably get away with sitting in the corner and going over the book for some of her other classes, best not waste any more time than necessary to catch up with the other students. She smiled briefly as some random guy sat down beside her.<p>

The sound of chairs scraping violently against the classroom floor cause Quinn to look up startled, watching as two of the guys from the football tryouts, Puck and Finn; she remembered them from the hideous Mohawk and Finns gigantic height, started to scream and shove each other

"Why would you do it?" Finn screamed pushing puck into the desks and the excited crowd, which wisely moved back, not wanting to be hit, "she's MY girlfriend."

More students stood up to join the crowd, the teacher rushing out of the room for some reason . . . probably to get another teacher, wise move. He was way too old and frail looking to be able to stop two teenage boys twice his size and most likely weight.

If Mohawks muscles were anything to go on.

Moving forward to get a better look, Quinn watched as the few pushes turned into punches and grabbing. Moving with the flow of the crowd as they retained a safe distance from the fighting boys.

_The sandcastle they had been working on for a good hour was crushed under one of the stupid fighting boys giant feet, Quinn looked up and glared at the two boys, ready to scream at them._

"_It's my toy Jerry!" the boy with bright red hair hissed, tugging roughly at the shovel being pulled between the two of them._

"_But it's my turn!" the other one argued back, tugging harder and taking another step back on their castle._

_Before she could start screaming at them, Luc stood up and held out his toy shovel. They stopped whining at each other to look at him, Luc continued to smile._

"_If you're going to fight over that toy than just take mine," he said softly, "you ruined my sister's castle and I want to get back to rebuilding it, but I can't if you're standing on it fighting."_

_The boy that was standing on the ruined castle moved and took the shovel from Luc's hand slowly._

_Luc sat back down and start to reshape the sand, the boys that were previously fighting moving to either side of them and copying Luc._

_That day, Quinn had the biggest sand castle she had ever seen, complete with a Knight, a prince and an evil dragon that tried to take her way from the castle._

Quinn was snapped out of her day dream by something hard colliding with her back, before she could stop herself, she was being propelled forward, right into the two boys fighting. She collided hard with Finn, hearing him gasp in surprise as she bounced off him. Stumbling back a few steps she lifted her hands in surrender as the two boys rounded on her.

"Whoa!" Quinn spoke, her brain going into meltdown mode "easy!"

A fourth figure entered the fray of students; it was Quinn's Spanish teacher. He was quick to step in the middle of them. Stepping back into the crowd as Mr Schuester, or 'Mr Schue' as Finn called him diffused the situation.

Swallowing around the lump that was rising in her throat she sat back down for the remaining ten minutes of class and doodled in the back of a random book.

* * *

><p>Sport was brutal that day, their teacher had them running laps around the school, training for some triathlon or something that Quinn was positive most of the students couldn't give a-<p>

And it didn't help that she had to wait until the locker rooms were deserted until she could shower, her mum wouldn't appreciate her coming home a sweaty mess in her gym clothes and Quinn . . . well . . . anything to make things easier. No need to have her worrying about Quinn personal hygiene or the quality of the schools facilities.

So that left Quinn, nearly two hours after school had finished for the day, making her way toward the front entrance of the school, she had sent her mum a text while she was waiting for everyone else to leave, making it look like she was doing something extremely important that made showering impossible right at that second, ignoring the lewd gestures Puck made.

The door was insight, but before Quinn could reach it, two sets of hands shoved her backwards into the nearby lockers, her eyes opening wide as she saw two guys clad in varsity jackets standing in front of her.

She was fighting her instincts to curl in on herself, since that's not what Lucas would do in these types of situations. Taking a step forward she stuck her chin up and opened her mouth to say-

In a synchronized movement that HAD to have been practiced beforehand, they raised their arms and tossed the freezing grape slushy Quinn hadn't noticed they were carrying until then at her face. Unable to close her eyes in time they were hit with the full force of the slushy, stinging like hell instantly, ice hitting the back of the throat. She moved backwards as a reflex, colliding with the harsh metal of the locker, again, her head snapping back; making a sickening thud.

"Welcome to the team Lady Face," one of them hissed, tossing something at her feet as she slid down the lockers, her head throbbing as she clutched uselessly at the ground. Tears pouring out of her eyes at both the pain and humiliation of what just happened.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there for, it could have been mere minutes or a few hours, but eventually Quinn heard voices coming towards her.

"He's our competition," one of the voices hissed, Quinn could hear they were irritated, if their tone was anything to go by. "How do you know this isn't another Jessie?"

"Just give him a chance 'Cedes," another exasperated voice commented. "Not everyone from rival show choirs is out to destroy us."

"Listen to-" the first voice cut off.

Quinn raised her hands to wipe at the sticky substance on her face, a vain attempt really since it had pretty much dried.

"Is that the new student?" The second voice asked. Quinn could hear their footsteps getting louder as they approached, stopping right in front of her. Blinking rapidly, she attempted to look up at them.

She was only able to open them for a brief moment, enough time to see that two people were standing in front of her. She recognised them instantly, she didn't know their names, but they were always practically attached to the hip. If the boy wasn't obviously gay then Quinn would think they were going steady.

"Are you alright?" the girl asked, Quinn could feel the pressure of a hand on her shoulder, barely stopping herself from flinching she answered.

"I'm, um, I'm not, really sure," she stumbled out honestly.

"Come on." The pressure on her shoulder moved into a grip, helping pull her onto her feet. Quinn struggled a bit, the drying slushy making everything sick uncomfortably, she felt a hand on her back, hesitant and light at first before helping push her up.

Relying heavily on their guidance, Quinn stumbled her way into the closest bathroom; she felt the hand maneuver her around until she was leaning against the sink. She heard the sounds of the tap running before a wet cloth was placed in her hands.

"Thank you." Quinn smiled gratefully as she reached up to rub at her eyes and her hair.

After a few minutes Quinn's head was relatively slushy free, the once white cloth stained purple.

She took off her hoody, thankful she had worn several layers even though it was humid today and inspected the damage. If she washed it enough, it should be fine.

"I'm Luc," she said, holding her hand up towards her helpers.

"Mercedes," the girl replied shaking her hand, her grin was blinding.

"Kurt," The effeminate boy replied after Mercedes, his hands were really soft.

"Thank you for helping me," she continued, "that was really kind of you."  
>"It's no problem Luc," Mercedes replied, not missing a beat, "we know what it's like to be treated like that."<p>

"Still, you didn't have to stop." Running her fingers through her hair she cringed a bit when she brushed over the tender spot from where it hit the unforgiving metal of the damn lockers.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Oh," Quinn quickly replied, "it's nothing; I just hit my head when they pushed me into the lockers."

"Ouch, locker slam." Mercedes and Kurt cringed in sympathy.

As she continued to wipe at her neck with the cloth Mercedes had handed her, a though hit her, the jock had said 'welcome to the team'. Looking at her bag resting on the floor next to her, she finally realised what they threw at her, what Mercedes had grabbed when she and Kurt took her to the girls bathroom to get cleaned up.

A varsity jacket.

Shouting out a quick 'I have to go, seriously thanks for your help'. As she chucked the towel in the sink and grabbed her backpack along with the jacket she rushed out of the girl's bathroom, oblivious to the annoyed click of Kurt's tongue as she rushed down the hallway to the boy's locker room.

Slamming through the door, she ran to the listing.

Sure enough, there was her name.

LUCAS FABRAY – KICKER.

The kicker part had been scratched out and replaced with 'screamer' but still. She had made the team!

Making her way calmly out of the room, she didn't bother to fight the smile spreading across her face.

The excitement, adrenaline coursing through Quinn's veins was sky rocketing. She made it! She was the kicker for the McKinley high football team.

Walking around the deserted hallways Quinn started to run to her locker, shaking with the adrenaline coursing through her system, before she could stop it a high pitched squeal left her mouth as she started to jump up and down, stopping to fumble with the lock, after a few attempts she finally got it in and shoved her remaining books into her locker, unable to remain still any longer she shut her locker and started to dance, just small arm movements and jumping on the spot, a few head twist here and there, her dad was going to be so _proud _of her!

Throwing herself at the ground onto her knees she lifted her fists into the air in a silent scream of victory, her head throbbing from all the unnecessary movement.

Hearing footsteps echoing behind her, Quinn turned around as she stood up and came face to face with the same girl she kept running into.

"Hi," she said, smiling brightly at Quinn.

"Hi there," Quinn smiled back after only a brief hesitation, "I'm Lucas Fabray."

Her parents always told her to be polite above all else.

"Rachel Berry," she replied, shaking Quinn's outstretched hand she wasn't even aware she offered.

"So I don't suppose that you just happened to not have seen that embarrassing display earlier?" Quinn stumbled out after a few seconds of silence.

"Nope, saw it," Rachel smiled, laughter evident in her voice. "You're a . . . enthusiastic person."

"Yeah," Quinn shrugged, "well I made the football team, it's kind of a big deal to me."

"No I got that," Rachel nodded. "Getting on the football team is a big deal at McKinley, well at every school I suppose, it's basically your own personal ticket to social supremacy."

"Also my dad's going to be really happy," she added without thinking.

"Yeah there's that too," Rachel agreed, as Quinn opened her mouth to say more her phone went off in her pocket.

Looking away from Rachel for the first time she pulled out her phone to see her dads face flashing up on the screen

"I-" Quinn mumbled after a few seconds. "I need to answer this."

"Oh, yeah, I understand," Rachel blushed, letting go of their still clasped hands. Waving as she turned to leave.

"I'll, um, see you later," Quinn smiled, waving back at Rachel as she walked off.

"Hi dad," she answered her phone.

"Where are you?" he asked his tone cold.

"I- I made the team," she nearly yelled, the excitement in her tone for a complete different reason.


	4. Favour

_**Look at me**_

_**Chapter 3: Favours**_

"What position?" he asked, his voice not changing in the slightest.

"Well, I um, K-kicker," Quinn stumbled out, wincing as her voice shook.

"Uh-huh," he muttered, "well that's better than nothing, as Kicker you're still part of the team but you're not the most useful player."

Quinn made an affirmative noise, unsure if her father was praising her or talking down at her. If Luc made the team he would have been so happy, because Luc would have made Quarterback, Luc would have the respect of every other player. Luc wouldn't have been 'slushied'.

"- disappoint your mother-" her dad continued.

"Sorry, what?" she asked, having lost herself in thought without realising, her dad sighed.

"Practise hard and we'll try and make it to your first game of the season, don't disappoint your mother, she hates leaving the house as it is."

"I won't sir," Quinn responded, trying to convey certainty into her tone. After a pause her dad took a deep breath and added, "good job," before hanging up.

Her dad praised her, he was proud of her, would Luc be proud of her as well?

Of course he would. If dad was proud than no doubt Luc would be proud too, Luc was always happy if dad was happy.

Quinn looked around, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Rachel had hung around, just for a little longer so they could continue talking.

It was in vain though as the hallway around her was empty.

Sighing lightly Quinn readjusted her back pack and walked towards the front doors of McKinley. Running her fingers through her choppy haircut, which she styled carefully so it looked like a fuller version of that footballer, Puck's hair style. But thanks to the slushy it hung limp, sticking to her forehead in clumps thanks to the remaining slushy residue that Mercedes was unable to get out.

Quinn pushed the doors open, feeling the breeze rush over her skin. When she was younger she liked to think it was Luc giving her a hug, especially when it was summer, when the heat hung in the air.

"Luc!" a frantic voice called out from behind her, snapping Quinn out of her memories.

She turned around to see Rachel running towards her, a small relieved smile on her face.

"Luc, I realise that you more than likely have other commitments to get too but if I could just have a moment of your time?" she asked, panting slightly from the run.

"Uh, sure," Quinn said, trying to stop her face from splitting open from her smile, Rachel Berry had been looking for her. "What can I help you with?"

"I need to ask a huge favour and it's understandable if you say no since we've really only just met, but it would mean a lot to me if you said yes," Rachel rambled on.

"What's the favour?" Quinn asked, her curiosity growing by the minute.

"Glee Club," Rachel stated, Quinn gestured her to continue. "Kurt's transferred schools because of bullying which mean we don't have enough members to compete at sectionals."

"So, you want me to join?" Quinn asked hesitantly.

"Would you?" she clasped her hands in front of her in a begging gesture, her eyes gazing right back at Quinn's and honestly HOW was she supposed to resist that?

"I, okay," Quinn said in a small voice, raising a hand to run it through her hair.

"Great!" Rachel's voice rang out as she reached forward to tug on Quinn's free hand.

She continued to rattle on about the different members of Glee Club and all the performances they've done in the past but all Quinn could focus on was the fact that Rachel Berry was holding her hand.

She just took it, there was no hesitancy in her grasp as her fingers threaded through hers, was she always this forward with people? Not that Quinn was complaining, oh no, far from it. It felt . . . nice, having someone so boldly make physical contact. She couldn't remember the last time her mum had hugged her, or the last time her dad looked at her without a judgemental stare.

"Really all I need you for is a warm body," Rachel's voice finally snapped her out of her thoughts as she pushed open the door to the choir room.

It was quiet when they walked in, every single eye was on them, and Quinn recognized a few of them. Tina, the girl who smiled at him sometimes in the hallway, Quinn liked her, she was nice. She saw Mercedes standing next to the freakishly tall football player Quinn instantly recognized as Finn, they looked like they had been arguing before Rachel and Quinn walked in.

"Wanky," Santana's voice rang out, smirking at the two of them.

"Fellow Glee Clubbers," Rachel smiled widely, "fear not, we shall still be able to compete at sectionals as my new friend Luc has graciously volunteered to help us out."

**Hey, sorry for the lateness and shortness of this BUT now that we're really getting into the story Faberry will start to develop more. If you have any questions please ask via my tumblr which you can find a link to on my profile. Also if you could take the time to review it would be much appreciated, thank you so much for reading.**


	5. Friendships and Fractures

**_Look at me!_**

**_Chapter 4: friendships and fractures_**

Quinn tightened her grip on her lunch tray as a group of girls brushed past her, smiling politely as the one with bright purple hair let her eyes linger. Quinn gazed around the lunch room, observing the clear defines in the social ladder, there were the jocks and the cheerleaders taking up a few tables, being loud and honestly, why would they choose to sit here when they have the freedom to leave whenever they choose? It declined from there, the nobodies, the smarts, the fangirls . . . and the glee club, which she had become an unofficial member of because they needed a warm body for sectionals coming up.

Should she go over and join them? They weren't exactly friends per se but maybe; just maybe, it'd be okay for her to sit with them . . .

As if sensing a disturbance Puck's head snapped up to her direction, their eyes met and Quinn could literally feel the temperature of the room dropping from the coldness of his stare.

Well, that solves that mystery. What could she have done to piss him off so much? It must have been something she did; he wouldn't just hate her on principal, did he?

Quinn took a step back as Puck lowered his head and swapped his attention to Finn, her heart beat frantically in her chest as she became painfully aware she'd just been standing there like an idiot for the past few minutes, she felt heat rise to her cheeks and quickly turned to run out the door, god how could she have thought for a second that just because Rachel got her into the group she'd suddenly have a whole new group of friends and high school would be a breeze from then on.

Her pace sped up as she neared the door, just a few more steps then she'd be out of this room, away from the stares she just knew were following her. Luc wouldn't be running. Luc would have been brave and walked over to that table with his head held high. He would have been accepted in a second.

"Luc," Rachel Berry's voice rang out, snapping Quinn out of her thoughts and stopping her dead in her tracks as a hand reached out to touch her arm lightly. "Where are you going?"

"I was heading out to the bleachers to eat my lunch?" Quinn said, her voice making it sound more like a question than a statement.

"Why, it's raining out there, your lunch would get all soggy." She smiled, linking their arms effortlessly. "Plus since you are now a member of glee club, you're one of us, and we have to stick together. Neanderthal jocks are just waiting to prey on the ones that separate from the herd."

Rachel started to tug on her arm gently, pulling her back towards the glee kids table, Quinn could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest, butterflies fluttering around in her stomach every time Rachel used 'us' or 'we' which while she knew that Rachel was referring to glee club as a whole, not them in particular, but still . . . lovely butterflies.

They approached the table much too quickly for Quinn's taste, the conversation halting as each of them turned to stare, well that was rather rude.

Rachel let go of Quinn's arm and moved to sit with Finn, pretending not to notice when Finn wrapped a possessive arm around her and glared at Puck, who lifted his arms up in surrender.

Quinn looked around the table, praying that one of them would move over so she didn't have to push her way in.

Her prayers were answered when Tina, the small, gothic Asian girl that smiled at her in the hallway a few times moved over and patted the seat next to her. Quinn smiled gratefully.

As the conversations carried on around her, Quinn picked at her salad, prodding the browning leaves and wrinkled tomatoes with her fork, it wasn't the most appealing of food but compared with all the other processed garbage this school had to offer this was definitely the healthiest, if not safest, way to go . . . Although those tots did look amazing, maybe a few tomorrow wouldn't hurt, no . . . NO! No fatty food, junk food leads to weight gain which means bigger thighs, bum, and boobs.

Quinn swallowed around the lump forming in her throat, scolding herself she blocked out those thoughts and tuning back in on the conversation.

"I'm just saying that if The Garglers have Happy Meal on their team," Santana snapped, "what chance do we have at sectionals?"

"It's the Warblers, Santana and just because Kurt has transferred doesn't mean that we're going to lose, we have a lot of talent in this group and thanks to me; we still have the numbers," Rachel pointed out.

"So we lost Kurt but that's okay since we have your little boy toy Luc?" Santana asked rhetorically

"Dude why you eating a salad?" Finn spoke up as Rachel and Santana started arguing, he leaned forward in his seat, giving her a puzzled look.

" . . . Because." Quinn answered lamely.

"Because what?"

"Salads are good for you?" Damn, that came out as more of a question than a statement.

"Well yeah, but that's all you have, besides juice, don't you need like meat for all that protein and iron stuff?" Finn continued on. "Unless you're a vegan like Rachel, are you? 'Cause it's totally cool if you are, Rachel told me all about that and I'd be one if I didn't love meat and cheese so much."

"YOU!" Santana pointed her finger in Quinn's direction snapping her fingers to get her attention "Lady Fingers, how are you benefitting us?"

"I've told you Santana, he's here so we can actually compete," Rachel butted in before Quin could think of a response.

"Besides that," Santana snapped, sparing Rachel a glare, "can you sing, dance, smile?"

Quinn's eyes met Santana's, there was a challenge presented in those chocolaty depths. Quinn curled her lips, showing off all her teeth in a false, cheek hurting smile.

Santana's lips twitched, "alright Chipmunk, can you dance, or sing, or are you as uncoordinated as you look?"

"Luc is really good with his feet," Finn interrupted, "you should have seen him on the field." Quinn looked over at Finn, was he actually standing up for her?

"–Luc is also coming over to my house this weekend for vocal coaching," Rachel added, smiling at Quinn. Wait what?

"Okay, you can wipe that smile of your face now," Santana smirked, picking up one of Artie's tots and throwing it at Quinn who only just realised that she'd still been smiling; it had just become real instead of false.

Tilting her head to the right she caught the tot in her mouth, taking a small bow at the smatter of applause and the random shout of 'ten' from around the table, there was no harm in just one tot.

The rest of lunch passed in a similar fashion. Quinn mucking around with her new group of . . . friends? Quinn looked around the table, taking in the way Mercedes and Tina were gossiping next to her, most of the guys talking and laughing, Sam doing an impression that had even her laughing along. Rachel, wrapped up in Finn's arms, Finn distracting Rachel from her speech on the importance of proper footwear while on stage with a kiss, Quinn ignored the way her heart thudded heavily in her chest.

The bell rang and Quinn could not have been more relieved, while it was great she seemed to be gaining respect and even friends, the need to hide in her room and just disappear for awhile was growing worse by the second. _Just a little longer then you can rush home, just keep breathing, Luc would have toughed it out._

"What do you have next?" Tina's voice interrupted her inner monologue.

"I, Spanish," she finished lamely, god she was awkward.

"Hey same here," Sam smiled, fixing his backpack on his shoulder and falling into step beside them.

"Mr. Shue, our glee club director, teaches our Spanish class," Tina supplied helpfully as they moved through the crowd of students, "While he's not the best teacher around, you'll learn a lot."

"One can hope," Sam added.

* * *

><p>"Tina, Sam, Luc, pay attention," Mr. Shue reprimanded them, Quinn smiled sheepishly at him, she'd gotten a bit excited and caught up in the fact that Tina and Sam seemed to genuinely wanted to talk to her.<p>

"SO why did you move to small town Ohio?" Tina asked in a soft voice when the Teacher went back to writing on the board.

"My dad got a job offer," Quinn answered.

"Hey same here," Sam smiled, speaking a bit too loudly. "Looks like we have something in common."

He shot her a toothy smile. Quinn couldn't stop the bitter thoughts running through her head on the real reason her dad jumped on this job offer, her mum wasn't, isn't, physiological alright, but she's obedient; so she's good enough for her dad!

"Moving must put a strain on the family," Tina mentioned, "Do you have any siblings Luc?"

"Yea- No, I mean, I don't anymore," Quinn stumbled over her words. Sam and Tina gave her questioning looks, waiting for her to elaborate.

What should she say? Luc died in that god awful car crash, but they think SHE'S Luc.

"She died," Quinn said looking away; her voice no louder than a whisper. She swallowed around the lump that had started forming in her throat, "my sister, Quinn"

"I'm so sorry," Tina squeezed her shoulder lightly, pulling back when Quinn tensed up.

"Doesn't matter," Quinn gave them a small smile before changing the subject, not wanting to elaborate on the lie anymore than strictly necessary.

* * *

><p>As the herd of students packed up their gear and left the room Mr. Shue called Quinn over, thinking she was going to be in trouble for talking in class Quinn reluctantly walked up to him. She shouldn't have been talking in class, oh god was he going to call her dad wasn't he?<p>

He smiled reassuringly and handed her a slip of paper from his folder.

"What's this?" She asked curiously, opening the note and skimming over the words.

"I just wanted to say thank you so much for joining glee club at the last second so we could compete at sectionals, It means a lot to the kids and I" He thanked her, Quinn could feel herself blushing, she really wasn't use to such positive attention, "This is a necessity since sectionals are being held away from school; your parents need to sign this so we know you have permission."

Quinn's heart dropped in her chest, her blood running cold at the realisation that she would have to ask her dad, she'd have to tell him that she joined a, as he put it, 'pansy ass bunch of kids who were going to end up as bums on the street' Glee club.


	6. Bandages

_Look at me!_

_Chapter 5: Bandages_

Quinn took a deep shuddering breath; twisting and folding the paper repeatedly between her fingers, it felt like it was growing heavier and heavier with each step she took down the obnoxiously long hallway leading towards her father's study. She steeled her shoulders, walking into the room with a false air of confidence.

"Dad, could I have a minute of your time?" Quinn asked, attempting to keep her voice firm.

"What do you need?" Her dad didn't look up from where he was highlighting important parts in the document he was overlooking.

"I just need your signature." Quinn walked quickly and placed the open note down on his desk, praying that he would just sign without looking at the content. He continued to ignore it until he reached the end of the page. He reached over the note, grabbing his glass of scotch and finishing it with a flick of his wrist.

Quinn's heart thudded painfully in her chest as she waited. He picked up the note, adjusting his glasses as his frown deepened, Dammit! Why couldn't he just sign the stupid note?

"What's this for?" Russel's asked; his voice low and dangerous. In that moment, Quinn could feel the miserable amount of courage she had built up leave her body like air from a beach ball.

"That is a permission slip for me to attend-" Quinn spoke slowly, dragging the sentence out for as long as possible in a vain attempt to prolong the inevitable fight. She wearily watched as her father showed all the typical sign of anger, the nostril flare, teeth clenching, knitting of the eyebrows, and of course the classic reddening . . . now purple tinges colouring his face.

"I know what it is!" He bellowed, his fist tightening around his empty scotch glass, his eyes blazing with anger fixated on her as he raised his hand and flung the glass at her, it whizzed passed her ear and smashed against the wall behind her. Quinn flinched; the world around her seemed to pause, even the inanimate objects held their breath; nothing dared to move as her father lifted himself out of his chair, "Why?"

It was a simple question; with an equally simple answer, but Quinn knew her dad wasn't going to like it . . .

"They needed a warm body," the truth came out of her like a dam bursting open "I was available."

"What, so you're letting them use you!?" He spat.

"They're my friends," Quinn shocked herself by speak up, "I'm doing them a favour."

"You think they're your friends?" He spoke in a low voice, is eyes widening incredulously, he took a step forward, "and you think they actually care for a sick freak like you?"

His words stung, Quinn's gaze dropped to the floor, her cheeks burning with shame.

"The only reason they can stand to look at you is because you resemble Luc," He continue forward. Quinn knew it was physically impossible but the closer he got, the small she seemed to be. "Don't think for a second they' even look at you twice if you went as Quinn," He spat out her name as if it tasted like something off in his mouth.

"But you figured that out years ago didn't you? No one loves Quinn, not even her mother, she favours Lucas and so do I," Quinn nose tingled as a tears welled up under her eyelid, "You had enough brains to figure out that dressing like Luc would make everything better . . . But now you're expressing your sickness onto these people, I should have put you in therapy instead of wasting all that money on your mother."

"I-" Quinn started, her voice faltering.

"You are lucky I let you do football!"

_What? I don't even care for football, I did it to make *you* Happy!_

. . . Now if she could just say that out loud. Quinn opened her mouth again, determined to get the words out this time but; in that instant it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room, including from her body.

"Don't drag these people into your fucked up mess, Quinn," He said seriously, "I mean it."

With that, he tore the permission note up into little pieces and threw the shredded remains into the bin. "Clean your mess," he gestured to the broken glass on the floor.

He sat down and went back to highlighting as Quinn dropped to the floor and started carefully gathering the individual glass shards in her hand. Quinn blinked rapidly to clear her vision. Her dad was wrong! He had to be . . . But they did think she was Luc, that she was a boy.

Quinn hissed as one of the larger shards embedded itself into her palm, digging in deep as blood immediately started to ooze out of the wound. She chucked what glass she had in the bin and rushed down the hall, through her bedroom and into her ensuite.

Shoving the door open and hitting the light switch Quinn looked down to inspect the cut. Blood had started trickling down the bumps and ridges of her skin, trailing down her wrist and threatening to drip down onto the tiles.

Running the cold tap, Quinn started with the blood on her wrist and worked her way up to the cut on her palm, the glass that stuck out of the wound gleaming against the bathroom light, taunting her.

Quinn tried hard not to think about how good it felt when it first pierced her skins, not physically; emotionally – Physically it stung . . . stings like a bitch, but the rush that had gone through her . . . it felt almost magical, like it was releasing everything bad that had been building up in her, even if it only lasted for those few seconds.

Working on autopilot, her brain shutting off so the only thoughts that surrounded her were of taking care of her wound: Rinse the cut, remove the glass –this proved to be difficult as tweezers she was using just kept slipping as the glass resisted leaving her flesh, growing frustrate Quinn chucked the tweezers, grabbing the glass she gave it a sharp tug, it yielded under the pressure and left her skin with a sickening noise that make Quinn's stomach churn, blood sprung to the area immediately. She grabbed the ace bandages she quickly applied pressure and wrapped her wounds. In the back of her mind it registered that she'd probably need medical attention but she'd cross that bridge when she got to it.

Quinn watched as the running water hit the sink before spiralling down the drain, missing the few remaining splotches of blood by mere millimetres. She flicked her hand, interrupting the flow of water, moving it up enough for the water to catch the remaining blood and drag it down the drain; out of sight and out of mind, taking it somewhere it couldn't taunt her with its meaning.

Mentally and physically exhausted, Quinn turned to leave the bathroom, the idea of collapsing face first into her bed and never moving again growing more appealing by the second. She stopped dead in her tracks, a small yelp escaping her mouth as her eye's landing on the blood hand print that stood out against the white of the bathroom wall, it would have been a perfect print if the light switch hadn't interrupted it.

Quinn shook that weird thought from her mind as she quickly wiped away the blood, grimacing when the wall remained tinged pale pink slightly despite her effort, she'd have to take care of it . . . soon, but for now, nap time!

She flopped onto her bed, landing on her back as the oversized shirt she was wearing rode up and covered half her face. It was only three in the afternoon on a Saturday and she was already dying to get back to school and see her friends again, especially Rachel; sweet, cute and helpful Rachel.

That's right; she was going over to Rachel's house today at . . . two

Shit

Quinn launched herself off her unfairly comfortable bed, stumbling as she put on her favourite pair of converse, hissing when she put too much pressure on her wound.

She creped past her dad's study, wary of him hearing her and yelling at her for not cleaning up all the glass. She glanced in as she went past; find her old man hunched over his desk, running a hand through his spare hair and scratching at the spot his hair was creeping away from. She could pick up some faint mumbling _'control temper', 'my little girl', 'Luc', 'back to normal'_

She didn't bother trying to decode anymore, instead making her way quickly out the door; fumbling with her keys slightly Quinn launched herself into her car, attempting to sit up straight, plug the keys in, and put her seat belt on at the same time Quinn eventually managed to start the car, sighing in relief as she drove the car around the corner, the house disappearing from sight, missing the curious peek of her mum through the curtain windows.

The drive to Rachel's was relatively short and Quinn didn't allow herself enough time too fully panic, it was just Rachel after all; she would hurt her like her dad did. Hopefully.

Quinn stared at the doorbell, unsure if she should ring that or knock and oh my god, who wonders that!? If they have a door bell it's obvious that you're meant to use it, they wouldn't just put it there. Unless they were the type of people that like its aesthetic value and functionally it's useless, or maybe the previous residence installed that and it actually pisses them off if you use the bell?

Her inner monologue was interrupted as the door was thrown open and a disgruntled Finn barging past her; completely ignoring her existence.

"Finn, Finn stop! C'mon," Rachel's pleading voice grew louder as she emerged from her house, her eyes trained on Finn, a desperate look on her face.

"No, forget it Rachel, I'm done," Finn yelled as he started his car, "I don't care anymore."

"Finn!" Rachel screeched, running past Quinn and onto the recently vacated spot on the driveway Finn's car had been mere moments ago.

Growling at the direction Finn's car had drove off in, Rachel turned around to storm back into her house. Her eyes widened almost comically as she saw Quinn standing there awkwardly in the doorway.

"Luc, how long have you been standing there, we have our vocal coaching at two and it's only," She glanced at the watch on her wrist, her frown transformed into a look of char grin, "quarte past three . . . How long have you been standing there? Did you hear us screaming at each other? Oh Luc I'm so sorry, you should have called or rang the doorbell."

"Oh, no; no, I actually just got here, a family thing made me late." Quinn explained lamely, trying to sooth Rachel.

"Oh, good then." Rachel smiled brightly at her, "Would you like to come in now? Your voice won't train itself you know."

While she did phrase it as a question, Quinn realised Rachel wasn't actually looking for her to confirm it, the fact that Rachel had continued on into her house proving her theory correct. Quinn followed, hesitating slightly as she crossed the threshold.

Rachel's room was very . . . bright, to put it mildly. The yellow walls clashed with the pink bed spread, and posters adorned the walls, but, it was very Rachel.

"Can you sing?"

Quinn paused; she'd never really thought about it, she shrugged her shoulders, hoping that was a good enough answer.

"No matter, everyone can sing, some much better than others, but really you don't even have to sing, just mouth along to your parts and move on stage where needed." Rachel continued, rummaging around in one of the many folders that resided on her dresser. "But a chain is only as strong as its weakest link so it's worth teaching you some basic techniques to add to the background vocals that help the star shine."

"Right," Quinn agreed, even though she had no idea.

"Great," Rachel clapped her hands, "I figured we could start by learning your range, try and hit the same note with your voice as I do on my keyboard."

"Your range is terrible," Rachel stated bluntly, Quinn huffed, the headache that had been slowly building up twinging painfully with the movement, "why are you holding back?"

"I'm not!" Quinn denied unconvincingly.

"You are!" Rachel rebuffed, pointing her finger accusingly at Quinn, "It doesn't sound naturally, like you forcing it deeper than it needs to be."

"Well we can't all be as talented as you," Quinn could feel her face heating up as she crossed her arms, leaning back to rest on one of the four posts that adorned Rachel's cushy bed. Rachel's lips quirked, fighting a smile as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"That's because I've been cultivating it since I exited the womb," Rachel turned to face Quinn, "you do have talent and your voice is nothing to be ashamed of, you don't need to hide it from me," wait, did Rachel . . .

"Just because your voice is higher than most boys doesn't make it bad."

She didn't, Quinn tried to pretend the disappointment flooding through her was actually relief.

"If anything it makes you all the more valuable, we need someone who is capable of filling in Kurt's vacant spot."

"You have the wrong idea of me," Quinn spoke before she could stop herself, where was her brain-to-mouth filter when she needed it!

"I don't think I do," Rachel kept her gaze on Quinn. Standing up she to her, their knees brushing as she sat down next to Quinn.

Quinn could see Rachel's mouth move but it didn't register that she was also making a low 'ahh' noise until she gestured for Quinn to do the same, she couldn't stop herself even if she tried.

Rachel slowly let her voice rise in pitch; it was so minuet that Quinn didn't even register it until her voice gave out.

Rachel's squeals startled Quinn, her arms wrapping instinctively around Rachel as she threw herself into Quinn's arms, Rachel's arms wrapped themselves tightly around Quinn's neck just before she hissed out in pain when her injured hand collided with Rachel's back.

"Sorry," Rachel jumped out of Quinn's hold, her cheeks flushing red.

"I- it's fine, it's just my-" Quinn raised her hand before lowering it back into her lap, Rachel had smelt really nice.

Rachel gasped, grabbing onto Quinn's lowering hand, her grip tightening as Quinn tried to pull away.

"What happened? I saw your hands yesterday," Rachel fussed over the poor wrapping job Quinn had done, picking apart the outer layer to reveal that a LOT of blood had already seeped through. Oh god she was going to need stitches!

Rachel confirmed this and started to pull Quinn towards the door, rattling on about driving her to the hospital.

Quinn's heart thudded painfully in her chest as she pulled against Rachel's grip on her wrist, she didn't want to go to the hospital. She hadn't been since . . . she can't go! She just can't!

"Luc, Luc!" Rachel demanded her attention, her voice bordering on panic as she interrupted Quinn's inner . . . well, judging by the fact that they were now on the floor and Rachel was making shushing noises while rubbing her back, a not-so-inner panic attack.

"Luc, shh, just breath for me," Quinn realised she'd been repeating the phrase 'no hospital' for a while now, "it's okay, no hospital, hush now," Rachel ran a hand through Quinn's short hair, her nails dragging across her scalp.

"C'mon, let's get you to the bathroom then," When Rachel tugged on her wrist again Quinn didn't fight it, allowing Rachel to pull her into the ensuite and set her down on the tub rim. Quinn watched as Rachel rummaged through her bathroom draws, emerging triumphantly with a first aid kit.

"I injured myself a lot as a kid, well, I still do, if we're lucky it won't be anything I can't help you with," Quinn ignored the fluttering in her stomach when Rachel said 'we're', this was SO not the time!

"I'm sorry I freaked out," Quinn mumbled, not meeting Rachel's eyes.

"it's fine, it was good practice," at Quinn's raised eyebrow she explained, "your panic attack and my reaction is really good to know how I should portray it if I'm ever cast in one of those roles, having this prior experience will set me apart from those who don't and will give me a greater chance at landing the role, so if anything I should be thanking you."

Quinn laughed at Rachel's twisted logic before saying "glad I could assist you," it was Rachel's turn to laugh.

"If you don't mind me asking," Rachel asked hesitantly after they had stopped, her eyes burning with curiosity, "what happened to your hand?"

"I . . . my glass dropped and I foolishly tried to pick it up with my bare hands," Quinn lied; There was no way that she was telling Rachel about the argument with her dad.

"Well, it looks like you won't need stitches, I can use a butterfly clip for the main one but there will most likely be some scaring, are you sure I can't take you to hospital or even to Finn's mom, she's a nurse so I'm sure she'd know how to stitch up-"

"I'm sure," Quinn quickly interrupted, "the butterfly clips should be fine, thank you."

Rachel nodded her head "this will sting a little," she dabbed at the cut with a cotton swab that had been dipped in iodine.

'Sting a little' was an understatement, Quinn bit her lips to stop herself from screaming, trying her best not to yank her hand away.

"Nearly done," Rachel said after a few minutes, the clip had slid in without incident and Rachel was wrapping up the cuts neater than Quinn ever could.

"I'm sorry," Quinn spoke softly, not meeting Rachel's eyes.

"What for?"

"I've been really snippy," Rachel looked shocked.

"Oh Luc, no it's fine, you've lost a lot of blood and you're no doubt in pain." Rachel brushed off her apology.

"No Rachel, it's not fine, I shouldn't have taken it out on you, it's not your fault and, I'm sorry," Quinn tried again; she couldn't understand why Rachel was being so nonplus about it.

"Really, it's fine," Rachel's eyes darted around the room, before looking straight at Quinn and smiling, "Did you know the carnival's in town? It's hear for another two weeks, I figured it'd be a great bonding exercise to-"

"You mean as a group?" Quinn started to panic at the thought of having to hangout around the rowdy boys and an obviously pissed off Finn.

"Actually, I was thinking we could go, just us," Rachel smiled softly, trying to catch Quinn's eye, "I really want to get to know you better and I thought that maybe tomorrow we could-"

"I'd love that," Quinn scolded herself mentally for replying so quickly.

"Great," Rachel clapped her hands together, bouncing on the bed a little in a way that made Quinn smile.

"I- I should be going, already getting late," Quinn looked away from Rachel.

"Oh, OK, I'll walk you to the door; so, pick me up tomorrow, a little before lunch?"

"I'll be there."

**OK, so, let me start off by saying that I am so sorry this is so late (why does it feel like it's all I ever say) BUT I HAVE A REALLY GOOD REASON THIS TIME! Near the beginning of this chapter, when Quinn accidently cut herself and became really weird while cleaning it up, I was stupid enough to loosely base it off my own experiences and I triggered myself really badly, I couldn't even think of this story for AGES with getting really dizzy and wanting to throw up.**

**Needless to say cutting isn't a plotline I will be going with this story, even though I could make it fit so perfectly, Quinn will be harming herself in many different ways.**

**Also this chapter is basically cut in half (Get the joke?) because I just wanted to finally get it up! (wink wink, nudge nudge) So next chapter will be what's meant to happen for the second half of this chapter and the chapter AFTER that will be A FABERRY DATE! Yay! **

**Yeah, if anyone is still reading this you deserve a super big hug and a thank you!**


	7. Delusional

_Look at me!_

_Chapter 6: Delusional_

Quinn parked her car, taking a deep breath before reluctantly opening the car door. She needed that note signed and dammit if she wasn't going to stand up for herself, she'd given so much already it was time for some retribution.

The front door was unlocked and Quinn could hear the TV loud and clear, it was now or never.

"Dad," Quinn spoke up, stepping into her father's line of vision, "we need to talk."

Clutching the loose piece of scrap paper she had hastily re-written the permission note on while waiting at red lights, she waited as her father muted the TV to look at her with a resigned expression.

Quinn didn't know if that was a good or a bad sign.

"What now?" he sounded tired.

"Same as earlier, I really need you to sign this note for me," hesitantly Quinn stepped forward, holding out the note and a pen.

Russel just stared, making no move to take them.

"Go wash up for dinner," he turned his head away and unmuted the TV making a dismissive gesture with his hand.

Quinn could feel her anger bubbling to the surface; she was too tired and hurt to deal with this right now. But she would, she wasn't going to let it get to her anymore.

She was going to start being herself!

Stepping in front of the TV, Quinn jutted her chin out, determination rolling off her in waves. "I will once you sign this."

Quinn wasn't sure how long she could continue to stand up for what she wanted; already her hands were starting to shake.

"Go away Quinn," Russel said dangerously. Swallowing down the lump that was rising in her throat Quinn continued to speak.

"Dad this is a good thing-"

Quinn couldn't move fast enough from her father wrenching himself out of his chair to grab her by the shoulders, digging his fingers in hard enough to leave bruises, his resigned attitude from before disappearing as anger quickly took its place. There hadn't been any warning signs this time.

"I'VE TOLD YOU TO STOP!"

Quinn picked herself up off the floor, wincing when her hand pressed against the ground before taking a few steps away from her dad, oh God why did she push, she could have just forged the signature!

"Dad I-" Quinn started, scrabbling to her feet and backing away like the coward she was.

"DO YOU HONESTLY THINK YOU CAN TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" He continued to bellow, spit fly out of his mouth and making Quinn flinch from where it landed on her face as he dad stepped closer.

"RUSSEL DANIEL FABRAY, WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING," Judy Fabray's shrill voice rang out, halting Russel is his tracks to give her a startled look.

"Judy, get back in the kitchen," He spoke slowly.

"No, what do you think you're doing to Quinnie?" Quinn felt her heart stop, her mother was never lucid these days, and even before she'd never talked like this. She never full recognized that she wasn't Luc for more than a few seconds at best.

"NOTHING GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO HURT OUR DAUGHTER!" She yelled when Russel failed to answer her, "I don't care what the reason is, she's our little girl!"

Russel remained silent, the shock evident on his face. Quinn slowly picked herself off the floor, rubbing her shoulder from where her dad had hit her.

"Get out of my house," Judy yelled, fed up with the one sided argument. Russel's face twisted into a mask of rage as he drew himself back up to his full height, the shock of his wife talking back to him finally slipping away.

"OUT!" For one terrifying moment Quinn though he was going to hit her mum.

"Fine," Russel hissed, pushing past Judy and slamming the front door behind him as he stormed off to his car.

Judy continued to glare at the empty door way before putting her hand on her daughters shoulder; plucking the paper from her limp hand, reading it quickly as she signed it before folding it neatly.

"Enjoy singing with your friends Quinnie, you always had such a beautiful voice." Giving her shoulder one last squeeze before she went back into the kitchen, dinner wasn't going to cook itself.

"Why are you wearing Luc's clothes?" her mother's voice broke the heavy silence.

"My dress got dirty and only Luc had spare clothes," she lied without thinking.

"That was nice of you to lend that girl your clothes Luc, now go wash up for dinner, I will not have you all muddy near my nice food."

And it was over. Quinn's eyes stung as she shouted out a quick agreement before shooting up the stairs and into her room, locking the door behind her.

The next morning Quinn woke up before her alarm clock, a large smile spreading across her dry lips, nearly causing them to crack. Today was going to be a good day, she could feel it, she had a date with Rachel!

Ok well it wasn't a_ date_ date, but it was time spent with her outside of Glee and Quinn would take whatever she could.

Jumping out of bed she ran to her closet, pulling out one of the few dresses she had, gifts from distant relatives that she couldn't bare to chuck out. The soft lilac of the flowing dress felt soft in her hands, bringing the soft material up she nuzzled her face into it, hiding her smile as she bit her lip.

Careful not to wrinkle the dress by squeezing it Quinn set it down gently on her bed and went to get ready for the day.

She had a little bit of makeup she'd stolen from her mum, it was nothing much and Quinn wasn't entirely sure how to use it besides from what she'd seen her mum do or random girls fixing up there's in their locker mirror.

It seemed simple enough.

Quinn was careful not to put too much on, a few swipes of the mascara and eyeliner, and a little foundation before she decided that was enough, she didn't want to look like a clown or stuff it up.

All that was left was the dress. Quinn slipped it carefully over her head, not wanting to ruin her flattened down hair, Quinn struggled to get it below her bust, it was a tight fit and she hadn't worn it since she got it years ago, plus she didn't have her chest bindings on to help her.

Finally smoothing the dress down Quinn glanced at the mirror, gasping at what she saw. Her mangy hair cut, instead of mused upwards, looking shockingly feminine, especially paired with her sub-par makeup job that really didn't look that bad. But what really tied the look together was the dress, clinging to her shoulders and torso before fanning out at the waist, draping down to slid over her legs and flair out as she walked.

For once, Quinn didn't cringe at what she saw in the mirror looking back at her, she felt . . . Beautiful.

Quinn startled at the sound of her phone going off, whirling around to spot it on her bedside table where she had left it, she had a new text.

Grabbing her phone Quinn's smile started to fall as she read the words.

'Hey Luc, would you mind picking me up and hour later? I have some commitments that need my immediate attention.'

Typing out a quick 'Sure thing' Quinn sunk down onto her bed, allowing the tears that had been gathering in her eyes the moment she saw the text to slip down her cheeks.

Rachel wasn't going on a date with _Quinn_; she was going on one with _Luc._

**_Yeah, I'm an asshole, but the next chapter will be much more upbeat, also I'm planning on doing NaNoWriMo but I'll still try and update this on a weekly basis just like with my GKM fill._**


End file.
